4 days down and counting...

Sometimes...this is how it feels

Hey guys! So since my last blog a few things have happened. I went off my Oxy's (pain medication) on Thursday of last week and started taking the Tylenol  with codeine (Tylenol3's)  ANd started back DRIVING!!!! While being on the T3's I realized that I really wasn't in any pain that I couldn't handle so soon after starting the T3's I stopped them...and then came the nausea again. :(  I just couldn't catch a break. So by Monday I was on the phone with the PS begging for them to call me in some anti nausea medication. When I got the the pharmacy I was shocked to open my bag and see that they had only called in 2PILLS of Zofran! Seriously??? Of course by that time the office had closed and was too late to call. So Tuesday morning again, on the phone. "Hi Mary, it's Robyn" "I'm sorry to bother you but was it a mistake that I only got 2 pills of Zofran called into the pharmacy?" "No Robyn, Dr. B only wanted to hold you over til you saw your Primary Dr., He thinks you may have an underlying condition that is making you sick." (so as we all know the squeaky wheel gets oiled) "Can you please have Dr. B call me? I know my own body and I know that the only time I don't get sick is when I take the pain medication that I don't need" "I don't want to be on any type of medication anymore, All I need is anti nausea meds so I don't have to keep getting sick every night".....Well guess what? It worked! Dr. B called me in Reglan (another anti nausea medication) in the next morning. So now I am on DAy 4 of no pain medication and today is the first day I haven't taken any Reglan either! Keeping my fingers crossed and not saying anything too loud. Anyways, Next Tuesday the 1st I get my next fill. This time they are doing both breasts so I am super excited. Still scared I may possibly feel the needle prick  :( now that I am completely off medication. My PS is really awesome, I am so happy that I went with Dr. B. At my last visit I asked him if at my next fill would it be ok If Brian recorded it. He with out hesitation said "Sure you can" " I totally get what your doing" ( I had told him about my You Tube Videos) So not only new pictures will be coming next week but also a new You Tube Video as well. :) Also something really cool I did this Sunday was attend my very first FORCE Meeting! IT was awesome and couldn't believe the turnout of women, some Survivors, some Previvors and some women who just decided to choose surveillance. I was the last to speak and tell my story in my group and sadly I brought tears to some of the ladies eyes. I really loved the support I felt there knowing that in each women I could relate in some shape or form too. I was very emotional myself that day and even cried too. Luckily I had my Fellow Previvor friend Steph there by my side. Love that girl! I highly recommend checking out the FORCE WEBSITE For lots of informative advice and too see if they have meetings in your area as well! So that's all for now guys thanks for everyone who has subscribed in the past couple weeks.
xoxox
Robyn
Ps a special {{{{gentle hug}}}} Goes out to Starla who had her PBM today!
Check out her blog
The Real Ones Will Kill Me...

80cc's Today WOO HOO!!!!!

Had my 2 week follow up appointment today, finally I was able to get my fill! So what it was only one breast I was so happy to get anything at all. For weeks every visit had been a disappointment but the last two visits, things are finally starting to look up! you may not see much of a difference but if you look closer the top of my left breast is now fuller than it used to be. My PS filled my right side with 80cc's today. I was nervous that the syringe prick was going to hurt but I still can not feel it. (sigh of relief) I did feel the expansion but it did not bother me one  bit. While at my visit I told my surgeon about  how lousy I would start to feel if I did not keep up with my medicine, which he confirmed were definitely symptoms of withdrawal. My next plan is to stop the Oxycontin's, I only have 4 left so when they are done, they are done! I asked that my PS give me a script for Tylenol3 (with codeine) in hopes that this will be all I need and then be able to drive again as well. I haven't been able to drive since november 11th! I have been going insane due to it. My only fear is that I am going to get sick once the Oxy's are done, hoping that the Tylenol3 will pick up the slack. I don't want to have this happen while at work either, at this point I will probaby start with the Tylenol3 by Thursady so please keep your fingers crossed for me. So my next visit is in 2 weeks, and will get another fill :) Hopefully 2 months from now I will be all ready for my EXCHANGE!!!! And now with out further ado some pictures!

LEFT 5 WEEKS

FRONT

RIGHT 9 WEEKS

Want to share my VLOGS with you

Just incase you don't know I also update through you tube :) here's my newest video! Please Subscribe to stay updated! (ignore the stupid face I am making lol) Hope to get my first fill since surgery #2 tomorrow! Cross your fingers!

xoxoxox
Robyn

Click here to go to my you tube videos

I wanna grow old with you....

I wanna grow old with you

What?? A blog entry not about my BOOBS??? That's correct! This entry I am dedicating to my boyfriend Brian. Today is our two year anniversary. I want to share with everyone how lucky I am to have such an amazing guy in my life. I have definitely had my fair share of assholes in my life and have never really knew what a decent relationship was until i started one with Brian. I can honestly tell you that one day I will marry this man! People who know me personally know how much I fear commitment and would never in a million years plan my life out so far in advance. So when I say that Brian is "the one" I am absolutely positive about it! Best thing about it, we are on the exact same page as each other. We talk about having children, getting married and of course what the above picture says "Growing old Together" Brian and I were friends before we started dating,

Just BFFS at this point

he helped me out in 2008 when I was going through the hardest time of my life (at that time). He was my rock, and has never stopped being that rock til this day. Starting 2 years ago when it rained it poured for me and one after another the storms got worse and worse. It all started in September 2008 when I made some very bad decisions in my life, Brian was there as a friend to keep me going and keep me sane. Once that storm had began clearing up October 2008 my mother was diagnosed with Stage IV triple negative breast cancer with mets to her pancreas. they gave her a prognosis of 2 years to live. Brian was there by my side 24/7, he was my shoulder to cry on. As time went on I started to fall for him, mind you I told him that we would always be "just friends", One January morning I opened up my eyes and realized that it was way more than that. We started dating January 11th 2009. January 19th Brian's mother was diagnosed with Stage I breast cancer. Luckily they found her lump early and started her on treatment as soon as possible. On january 29th I found a lump on my own breast, visible to the eye but was unable to be picked up by U/S? go figure... had to have a BX and thankfully was benign. While our mothers were going through treatments were shared a bond between each other that most young couples could not. We both could relate when both our mothers lost their hair, got sick from chemo and together we both nervously had to await PET Scans,  CT Scans, MRI results AND CA27-29 LEVELS. Brian's mother was incredibly sick around this time but being the amazing son he is he would drive her to her Chemo appts and help her out in anyway he possibly could. Brian's mother finished her radition treatments in Septmber 2009 but was still struggling with her chemo. All of these trial and tribulations made our relationship incredibly stronger. in  July of 2009 We decided to sign up for the Susan G Koman  Phildelphia 3DAy for the Cure. We did this to honor our mothers who at the time wanted to do this but were unable to due to on going cancer treatments.

2009 3DAY
Walking for our Mothers

In the time frame of only 3 months Brian and I had raised a little under $14,000.00 between the 2 of us! Unfortunately the same day The 2009 3DAy  for the cure started was the first day of my mothers decline (she was hospitalized on day1). By luck they had canceled the 1st 2 days of the walk due to a double noreasten, never in history had a 3Day been cancelled. I was able to be by my mothers bed side at the hospital with Brian right next to me for support. Again when it rains it pours it had only been a year since they had diagnosed my mother and she was now fading away, day by day. On January 9th 2010  after being in and out of the hospital multiple times, my mother was put on hospice and on February 11th 2010 my mother took her last breath of air as I said goodbye to her. Again Brian was by my side through it all. February 18th 2010 Brian's mom finished her Chemo treatments, the same day as my mothers funeral. Brian's mother is coming up on being 1 year Cancer free and is doing absolutely unbelievable!

Brian and I decided from that moment on we would walk until PINK was just a color again. WE signed up for Octobers 2010 3Day for the cure and again raised $11,000.00! Totaling all together $24,911.00 in 2 years, to help with breast cancer research.

2010 Philadelphia 3DAY 

One thing I can not forget to add is how great he is with my 7 year old son Liam, Liam absolutely adores him and sometimes I think Brian may like Liam more than he likes me ....just kidden. He thinks of Liam as his own child and honestly he could pass for Liam's dad lol because they look alike! They have boys days, boys clubs , boys haircuts, build legos, draw and watch sports together. And every night we both read a book to Liam and Brian always gives him a piggy back even if his back hurts like hell. Liam tells me that Brian is his best friend! If you are a single mom you can relate this is one of the things you hope for you child to say about the person you are with. I am so happy how close the two of them are and to be honest not going to lie but I even get jealous a bit (sometimes I am just chopped liver) 

Halloween 2010

My boys

Ok so this is getting kind of long lol so I will try to close it up but To back track for just a minute and to talk about my Boobs for a second (ok I lied) BRian was also the one who came with me when I got my results of being BRCA positive, he would hold me every night that I would burst out in tears because of my mother, upcoming surgery or what ever else was emotionally hurting me. Brian was there every day, worked crazy hours so he would have money put aside for when I had to have surgery, By my side through both my surgeries took care of me , made me meals, took care of Liam, has gone to every one of my surgeon's appts and driven me where ever (since I still can't drive ugh) and even showered me when I could not.  And through it all we have stuck together, through thick and thin good bad and ugly. I feel we have gone through more things in the last 2 years than some people go through in a life time! Our latest step in life is looking for a real house, no longer renting an apartment together, don't want to jinx anything but, we did put in a bid on a beautiful house this weekend! (keep your fingers crossed) We deserve a happy ending :) I love you Brian Daniel Dailey and I can't wait to grow old with you! Happy anniversary babe with many more to come! 

First ever family picture
November 2011

Moving Forward

Today I had a visit with my PS. Finally a visit where I heard nothing but good news!! I got my stitches removed from my problem boob (the left one). Which by the way I did not feel one part of that at all. Everything in my center area of the breast where the incision is, is still completely numb, Although the top part of my breasts do have feeling. I am a little nervous I may feel my next fill injection. That brings me to my next great thing! He is finally starting to begin with the fills again. I only got to experience one fill before things got bad and I needed to have the 2nd surgery so this is definitely an awesome thing to hear! I was crossing my fingers that he would start next tuesday but, he wants to wait two weeks. At this fill he will only be doing my problem boob to catch up with my awesome boob(the right one) haha. My right breast looks great my scar is completely healed and is even starting to fade! So at the next visit both my boobs will finally be the same size. Currently my right breast is 310-cc's and my Left is only 210-cc's. Even though others don't really notice the size difference until I tell them, I sure know they are different and it bothers me. I asked my PS how many CC's will it take to get a medium to large B cup and he stated probably about 400-450ish. He said that I won't need many fill appointments once we do get started. The PS will fill me every two weeks and about 60-cc's at a time. They had me schedule appts up until the 1st week in March and thats it. They said I may only need the two appts in February but to schedule one in March "just incase". Hearing all this news made me super happy!!! See I was thinking that if I had my mastectomy in November which I did I wouldn't be able to have my exchange surgery until March. Once I had to have my second surgery in December I thought the exchange would not be able to happen until late Spring early Summer. I can't believe that possibly I will be able to have my exchange next month!!! Last but not least the PS is still trying to wean me off the MS Contin which is the 12 hour extended release pain medication. this week I cut down to 1 a day instead of 2. Hopefully by the weekend I will start to only rely on the Oxycodone only(which I also have to take). that's the next thing I will have to work on. It has been 8 weeks with out driving and I really want to drive but I can't until I'm off the medication. Personally I could probably drive fine but God forbid I get in an accident and I would be charged with driving under a controlled substance. Not gonna mess with that one. So now I leave you with my newest pics I am 8 weeks post op on my Right side and 3 weeks post op on my left (ugh again so annoying I have to say that). Until next time folks!

You can tell the size difference here

Left Breast 3 Weeks Post Op

Steri Strips are covering my incision 

Right Breast 8 Weeks Post Op

Look how faded my right scar is, too bad they are going reopen that for the exchange surgery